#2.5 Brothers & Sister (+Cousins)

"Our love holds us together, our differences make one another stronger."

It had been a long time since I needed to slam hard on the bathroom door because they were using it for a long time. It had been a long time since I quarrelled with anyone of them. It had been a long time since we pointed fingers at one another when things went wrong. It had also been a long time since we quarrelled whether the bedroom lights should be turned off or on at night, or grabbing the TV remote control from one another, or complaining about one another to Mummy and Papa, or fighting over the air-conditioner remote control. Those may not be the nicest memories but I missed all those days with them.

There were 10 of us together, growing up together in the storm, in this family that was so shattered and yet so united, and yet we had pulled through all of them. We fought over everything that could be fought over-food, gifts, love, attentions, toys, books, stickers, computer, television, money, clothes and the list seemed to go on and on. We always got into serious fights as each one of us was so headstrong and stubborn. No one was ever willing to give in first and we almost never saved faces for one another. Every time, an adult had to step in and interfere before all those verbal conflicts turned into physical ones. However, the most amazing thing was that no one ever held a grudge and after that we were good, as if the fights had never happened before. Yet, we had never stopped fighting.

We had our differences, our very own opinions about things. But our differences made one another stronger. Of course, we did many things together besides fighting. We used to shower-splashing water at one another could hardly counted as one-together when we were small, imitating the adults by setting up our very own"family", acting as polices, Kungfu fighters, cooks, warriors, doctors, nurses, CEOs, and many many more. Also, we proudly (and stupidly) declared ourselves as the "Ten Brothers" as there were 10 of us. We played lots of games together and had such great time together. They gave me so many childhood memories that I would cherish forever. In fact, they completed my childhood.
And now we were all separated. I could still vividly remember how my heart broke when I heard that my little cousin cried all the way back to Alor Star after I boarded the plane to further my studies, and how sad I was when Mummy told me how my little brother used to wake up in the nights calling for my name. And how touched I was when I received my Pooh bear from my same-age sibling MW and how he had planned my 18 birthday party or when my cousin bought me a wallet a few days before I went to Adelaide. Yet, despite all these, every time when I went back to Alor Star I just wanted to hang out with my friends instead of them, all the while not knowing that they were sitting back at home waiting for me to spend some little time with them, and how rude and impatient I was whenever they asked me to teach them how to do their homework. They always remembered my birthday, but I always forgot theirs.

I just wanted to say thank you for everything that you all had done for me, and sorry to all of you for taking you all for granted. As we grew older, distance and maturity had made us quarrel less. I thought all the fighting thing had been over until recently I got back home and all of us had a big fight again. I guessed something never changed. :)

Love you all forever.

Walk. Eat. Blog

Tony Roma's, Sunway Pyramid

Currently
listening to: Down by Jay Dean
watching: nothing thanks to exams and tests
reading: A-Level Text Books (SHIT!)

#2.4 So You Think You Can Dream

"My dream is to have a dream."

Dream. It's a simple word but at the same time it's so complicated. I'm scared, because I don't have one, yet. And I seldom talked to others about it, as I knew how shocked they would be. Every time I tell someone-except a few of my best friends-about it, I could see it from their faces that they didn't believe it, and some even thought that it was funny. I did not understand how could it be so funny? It's not. It's not a laughing matter, to me it's not. It's pathetic.

I've always envied those who had a dream. They knew what their dream job was, what they were pursuing, and what goals they had in their lives. But how come I don't. To be frank, I have had no interest in anything at all. I don't see myself as a doctor, a pharmacist, a dentist or a Look!-I-have-a-job person in a few years time. When I was six, I wanted to be a police, only because it was cool, until I found out that their salaries weren't. When I was in standard 1, I wanted to be a teacher, only because I was always beaten and wanted revenge-a chance to beat the students who did not do their work, or forgot to bring their books. When I was standard 3, engineer was my choice only because I saw a poster of an engineer looking so smart and handsome, and stupidly I thought that if I became an engineer, I would be that good-looking too. Doctor was my preference in high school because many said that it was a waste not to be one if one's results were damn good. Later in college I turned to dentistry because my relatives remarked that it would be one of the highest paying job in the future. Now I was paving my way to pharmacy as many told me it was an easier and secured job. But was it what I really wanted, or not?

One day I was in the car with my parents and they suddenly asked me what my dream was. I told them straight away that I didn't know. Mummy told me that she met HuiEn just now and asked her about her dream, and it was to be a pharmacist. Then she said that there must be something that I really liked. I remained silence and Papa answered that question for me. "How can he have one, when he has everything without the need of dreaming to have them?" He said. I supposed it was true, in some way.

I would definitely fail if the title of English essay for the final A-Level exam was "My Ambition" because all I could write was "My ambition is to be a...a...a...THE END". I did not know what job I really wanted to have in my life. I have been searching it for my whole life, but I still couldn't find it. Maybe someday, just maybe, I will know and I hope it would not be too late by then.

Equipped with wings, the sky was clear, and the weather was perfect but how could I begin to fly when there's no destination?

Still searching........just for a dream.

Walk. Eat. Blog

BBQ Plaza, Sunway Pyramid

Currently

listening to: Happy by Leona Lewis

watching: The Suite Life On Deck

reading: Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer

#2.3 Moonlight Saving

"The first song was "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and I was so embarrassed that I could only remember part of its lyrics."

*Title quoted from Eugenie (To all ass friends: Daylight saving has started and although the time difference between us has changed, our friendship hasn't, and won't.)

The annual Mid-Autumn Festival was here again and 10M10 had unanimously agreed to celebrate it at the park near the girls' hostel and thank God it was a blast. After I showered and changed, I went to SinHui and Tiong's room, and was surprised that they had prepared the Chinese Herbal Soup. I had to admit that it had been a long time since I had tasted it. It tasted great but it made me feel a little homesick. Although we had some minor problem with the taxi, we managed to reach Section 18 at about 7p.m. We shopped for paper lanterns, candles, drinks, ice, snacks and some chopsticks before we had our dinner together in one of the bistros nearby.

At first, some of us felt that the park was too dark as it literally scared the hell out of us but our fears were gone the minute our lanterns were lit. After everyone had arrived, we chose a nice spot and started to light up our lanterns. It was indeed many Malays' first time to play with lanterns and all of them were so excited once they had done fixing their lanterns with the candles. "It was so beautiful!" Many of them were screaming and we were filled with joy when we saw our lanterns illuminating the dark park and some of us took a walk around the park. We chatted while enjoying the moon cakes, snacks and drinks with the light of the lanterns around us flickering like fireflies flying in the mellow moonlight.

Later, we carried the brightly lit lanterns and sat in a big circle under the bright moon (I could hardly remember seeing it but I was sure that it was round that night) and someone suggested that we could sing some songs that everyone knew. The first song was "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and I was so embarrassed that I could only remember part of its lyrics. We clapped our hands in sync and continued to sing songs like "Rasa Sayang", "Barney' s theme song", "Rat Loves Rice" and many more. Then, we took turns to talk about things that people did not know about us. We had a good laugh at one another's answers and we were taken by surprise that there were quite many that were from other classes and we got to know more about one another.

Due to the damn (and unnecessary too, at least to me it was) curfew, we were forced to end that wonderful night. We closed our eyes for 10 seconds to think about all the great and funny stuff that had happened that night. Ily played some songs of Taylor Swift with her guitar and we sang along with her. After that, we took the cab back to our hostel and it was already past curfew and that meant the gate would have been closed. I kept on praying in the cab and luckily the gate was not closed yet when we arrived and it was a miracle that that night's curfew had been extended to 12a.m or we would have to camp outside under the moon . We sighed with relief and went back to our rooms and chatted a while before we went to sleep.

I received calls from Grandpa and Mummy that night and although I didn't get to gather and celebrate this festival with my family, all my friends still made that night so much fun and memorable. Thanks everyone. Praying hard also for those who were trapped under the rubble in the recent quake to be rescued and those who suffered from droughts in Africa.

We did totally forget about Chang'e, didn't we? Oops.

Currently

listening to: Good Girls Go Bad (feat. Leighton Meester) by Cobra Starship

watching: Desperate Housewives season 6

reading: About A Boy by Nick Hornby