Last semester did not go as well as I had hoped it would be. For starters, I was sick for more than 3 times and don't even get me started on the coughs that lasted for more than 8 weeks . I kept looking forward to a day that I would eventually get better and that day finally came after a long, patiently wait. Frankly, I felt vulnerable, devastated and ended up worrying about all sort of wrong things.
However, the good thing was that, it suddenly dawned on me that being healthy and alive are the greatest blessings that anyone can have. It hit me that I loved my life as much as I hated it. In fact, I loved it too much to give it away. I had a lot of bitches, bullies, and people who were just plain mean without any reasons in my life. I had wasted too much of my time looking at and worrying for all the wrong things for the wrong reasons. I had also wasted a lot of time on people who're totally not worth it and worrying about what they might think.
I should smack myself 123456789 times as I totally forgot that I had you, my family and close friends who actually care in this life. Those close to me knew that I don't tend to keep people around in my life as I hated to impose myself on others. I knew it was selfish at some point but at least I wouldn't get hurt by those who were not worth the time. People who eventually stayed even after that were those who I knew that would be there for me no matter what. Sometimes I was moved by how some friends refused to leave no matter how I pushed them away. It gave me the reassurance that they wanted me to in their lives.
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| My smurfies. Sometimes I'm shocked by how much I depend my everything on them. =) |
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| My cook and my failed babysitter. |
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| Gurls who never stop caring. |
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| My high school cray-cray friends who never stop talking about dirty stuff. |
I had seen more than enough examples where people lost their friends, loved ones and family as they grew older especially when they stepped into the society. Some even told me that there was no such thing as true friendship in this world as haters and users would eventually reveal themselves as time passed by.
But I still prefer to believe otherwise. I just hope that my life would be different than the others and would turn out right in the end. No matter what is going to happen in the future, I still have now at least, and I would hate to see it all goes to waste. It might be best to let the future me to worry about the future. =)
Almost Home - Mariah Carey