Step into the daylight and let it go.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

#4.42 A Year In The Life: Spring

"For the next three months, it was all about carrying on with life and making through each day the best that I knew how. "



Spring. It had always been seen as a symbol of new hope and beginnings. It was the time of the year when the Sun decided to shine for a few more hours each day, new leaves started to decorate the bare branches of the trees and flowers began to bloom again.

For me, I spent most of my time after work preparing for the upcoming exam. Studying and working at the same time was taking a toll on me but luckily Wantying and Alicia were there to make everything easier. 

We formed a group chat and discussed everything that was going on with our lives - the good and the bad - and I would never have made it without them. Jessie, Ron and other pre-regs helped me a lot too in the preparation process. Honestly, I did not think that I would be able to find any friends like them anywhere else and I was absolutely grateful that they had come into my life.

Pink and white.
A box of happiness.
Maitre Choux.
The trees came back to life.
Black pepper steak with Digimon Adventure Tri.

Due to a work event, I had the chance to go back to Nottingham. It was funny how life could change so much in such a short few months. Everything was the same yet everything was not the same in this city.

When I strolled down the streets, there came a moment of relief. It was a rare moment in which I thanked myself for making the right decision of moving down to Dorset, a place far away from Nottingham. The city was still as lovely as it was but I was glad that I was not part of it anymore. I did not think that I would ever be able to walk down the streets that were all too familiar every day and not be reminded of all of the good times and people who used to live here.

I had lost count of the vast amount of time I spent on train this year.
Still the best burger in Nottingham. 
Reunited in Nottingham! 
Brunch after work interview in Bournemouth.

As busy as we all were, we still managed to make time for one another. Four of us met up in London and went on an awesome food trip. The meet-up in London was definitely the highlight of spring. It was comforting to have some time off and spend it with people who knew me best. 

Although we could only spend just a short few days together, it did the perfect trick of rewinding and recharging so that I could go back to juggling between my revision and my job.

Finally tried out the good steak at Flat Iron.
Watched Zootopia together.
We all loved different drinks.
Breakfast at Wolseley.
Wolseley fluffy pancakes with berries - the reason we came.
Welsh Rarebit.
Poached eggs over fish cakes.
With Vivian. 
Alicia and Wantying.
The best ramen ever and we queued for a long time for them.
Beautiful ceiling inside Kanada-Ya.
Our starter.
The authentic Japanese ramen.
Ended up ordering more bowls.
Japanese fried chicken.
Tower Bridge.

Frankly, I had never prepared or worked so hard for any exam in my life and I was over the moon when it was finally over. With the exam done, all I had to focus on was the one last month of pre-reg work. 

Thanks to the final two training days, I had the opportunity to travel to Plymouth, which reminded me a lot of the seaside towns in Europe. Unexpectedly, it was the surreal scenery along the journey, in which as if the train was traveling on the ocean, that literally took my breath away. 

Exam in Bath.
Waiting for my train with Jessie and Alyssa after the exam.
Beautiful Plymouth.
Fish and chips with amazing sea view.
Hottest day of the year in the UK.
This was the best English breakfast that I had ever had.

Finally, it was time to say goodbye to Weymouth. It wasn't an easy year for me and time moved through slowly but it was what it was. There were good and bad days but still, it was one year of my life and it was a decision that I had made for myself.

If there was anything new for me this year, it was that I learnt how to stand on my own and live with only myself. Or more accurately, it was on how to be alone and still be genuinely happy about it. And that I was actually good enough for myself.

Weymouth beach
Best ice cream in Dorset.
Goodbye, Weymouth.

Yes, spring, for most people indeed, represented new beginnings. However, for me, it was about closing the pre-reg chapter of my life. With my pre-reg life officially over, my three-month summer break began.



Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan

Thursday, December 1, 2016

#4.41 A Year In The Life: Winter

"Looking back at the entire year after graduation now, it all seemed so tranquil and quiet as if the perfect storm had never struck at all. "



Yes, as unreal as it seemed, this year would be ending real soon. Yet, I had not written anything proper since last year. Well, I supposed I could tell you that life was pretty busy and stressful, which in fact it truly was. But at the same time, it might just be plain laziness. Or it might just simply be the case that I could not bring myself to begin typing because I had been living a life so foreign that I didn't know where to start. 

But deep down I knew that I had to start somewhere somehow. So, welcome back to this little world of my personal life and private thoughts.

Crisp morning in Dorchester.
Still the best place to get fish and chips in this world.
Orchid from Kay for my new home.
All settled down in Weymouth home.

Most people could easily picked their favourite season but everytime when I was asked I just couldn't decide. I had asked myself on several occasions what season it was that I liked most. I had always assumed that I would love winter the most until I came to the realization that I had a love-hate relationship with it.

Yes, I loved the snow, the festive drinks and the beautiful Christmas lights. However, at the same time I had to deal with the fact that it was almost always gloomy, dark, windy and rainy. I thought that I did love the frosty weather. But was it the feeling of sipping a warm cup of coffee or hiding underneath the thick duvet in the freezing temperature that I loved? If so, didn't it mean that I actually hated the cold?

Dinner with Mojito after a long study day.
My choice of dessert.

Basically, I spent the whole January anticipating my journey back home. It was the only motivation that kept me going. Sometimes, having something to look forward to kept me balanced and constantly thinking about it somehow made it easier to endure all the darkest nights. 

If I could remember anything, it was that I was smiling ear to ear on my journey back home. To be honest, it had been quite a while for me to feel genuinely happy. It felt good to feel very much alive and back to my old self again. It was, in simple terms, what I needed.

As much as I hated to admit it, happiness was less after graduation. Every day sort of fell into a mundane routine. It wasn't easy to adjust to being alone all the time after being surrounded by a big group of lovely people constantly over the past few years. The contrast and silence were hard to bear from time to time but I was on this slow journey to learn better ways of managing them day by day. 

Reached Waterloo after the long train journey.
Favourite shop in Covent Garden.
Big Ben.
Short stop at London.
Korean street food.
Covent Garden at night. 
Walking around London at night.
On the flight back home.
Back in my home country again.

It wasn't that I was sad all the time or anything if you got what I meant. Life was just, different, now. It might be part of growing up, being independent, taking up responsibility and stepping into the so-called adulthood and the ordinary working life. Yes, I did get that there would always be a part of journey in life that one would need to walk through it all alone. However, understanding it and actually going through it were completely two different things.

Every day I got up, walked to work, revised for exam and finished whatever tasks that needed to be done for the day. I made sure that I did everything in my power to keep my life together and I was proud of that. However, emotional-wise, I figured that I still needed more time to allow myself to adjust to this new life and finding a way of working around it.

There were nights that I would click through the old photos just to relive some of the treasured moments even just for a few minutes. Sometimes, certain songs would send me on a trip down memory lane. Walking past a big group of teenagers with endless laughter on the street too never failed to remind me of all the good old times.

Suffolk House.
Fish was always a good idea.
Exquisite.
Coffee and dessert!

Well, it might be necessary to go through all sorts of different emotions in life - happiness, loneliness, sadness, excitement, anger and jealousy - and it might all just be part of the human experience that everyone needed to go through after all.

I was really grateful to have two full weeks away from the cold winter nights and be able to step back into the tropical weather again. The short quality break with all my loved ones was therapeutic to say the least.

The garden-themed restaurant.
My favourite plant.
Comfort food.
Loved this unique place.
The smoothest TauFuFah ever that we ended up ordering two more.
Woke up early for DimSum. 
The signature dish of the city.
Back in Ipoh after so many years.
Tea factory.
The original white coffee.
Ipoh street art.
My favourite piece of drawing.

People always said that it would all get better with time. It might be right but what people tend to skip was the part where it might get a little messy or worse before it got better eventually. Or maybe I should just have more faith when I embarked on this journey of self discovery and self creation. 

But right now, time was what I needed.



All Night - Beyonce